Welcome to the Universe
by Silver Renagade
Summary: After finally succeeding in destroying the world, Zim and his colleagues Dib and Dwicky set their sights elsewhere. The Irken Armada. [DwiZADR] Everyone in this story belongs to Jhonen Vasquez
1. Chapter 1

"Well boys, what do you think of the renovations?" A thing arm gestured grandly, revealing the chaos all around them. He grinned sharply with pride at his work. Of course, the man, boy and robot he was speaking with had a hand in the utter destruction of the Earth as well, but he felt like having an ego today.

"Zim, you do remember that we helped in all this," the teen spoke up, keeping his excited tone in order, "right?" Ruby and amber gazes met as the question hung in the air, waiting for the over-inflated Irken to answer. Zim watched Dib, the grin never leavin his thin lips.

"Of course, Dib-stink. Why would I forget something like that?" He never got tired of that pet name. now to unvail his grand plan for further conquest. Since everyone there knew that he had been exiled and there was no way of receiving another planet from the Tallest, they would just have to go steal the planets themselves.

"Now, listen carefully to me, my friends. For I have great plans of glory for us all." He led the group to their base and pulled out the blueprints for their majestic space ship, the Vindication. Unfurling the blue paper, he lied it on the table for them all to stare at. "This, my friends, is going to be our pirate ship." A grin spread across his features as he watched the reactions of the men and robot gathered in the room.

"...pirate ship...?" Dib repeated. "We're going to be pirates?" He stared as Zim nodded, a stupid grin on his face. "Pirates of what?! We just killed all the humans on this godforsaken planet, what is the use of plundering from the dead?!" He was about to protest further when a claw pressed against his lips.

"Pirates...of planets." Dib's confused look dissipated as a near deranged excitement took hold of the boy. "Yes, now you see my intentions." Slapping a map of all the cosmos, ever planet that could ever be conceived possible to exist outside the Milky Way, on top of the blue prints. Irken insignia littered the paper.

"Here is a map of all the planets currently owned or targeted by the Irken Armada." His claw pointed to Earth which had an odd but still Irken insignia marking it off. "Here is ours. Earth, for now, will be our home planet. We will build a temporary empire from this dirtball shithole until we are able to take hold of a more suited one." He reached behind himself and grabbed a cup, spilling it's contents onto the table carefully. They were small tacks with the odd insignia on them. Zim held one between his claws before pricking it into the paper. "From here, we will then attack Vaspia of the Snevor Sector. They have low defenses and even lower amount of meat bags to protect the planet. Only, instead of wiping them out complete, we will take them back here to train them as our army. A good empire needs a better armada."

Dib watched the Irken's plans as he unfolded them. The first 12 planets were unmarked, but he soon began to spread into Irken territory. A worried frown spread across his face. Would they have enough of an army by then?

"Forgive my interjecting," Dwicky spoke up, "but shouldn't we instead attack Rabona in the Farse Sector instead of Millis in the same sector?" Dwicky pointed to the planet he mentioned, reaching for a tack to mark it off. "This would be a far better move. The Irken Armada would have a chance of finding us out if we attacked Millis. This way, we can stay undetected." Dwicky was generally their strategist. While Zim made all the plans, Dwicky helped advise them so that they would work smoothly. Dib, on the other hand, had a far different thing to worry about than plans.

"How will we build the ship?" Zim stopped and laughed.

"Simple. See this area circled here?" A claw pointed to a red circle. "An Irken Supply Ship will be rendez vousing here. We will fly up to meet them and persuade them that we are the Irkens they are sending those supplies to. If we must, we'll take them from him. With the supplies on that ship, we will have enough to build the ship and extra for whatever else we may need. Along our conquest, we'll simply take more supplies from Irken suppliers and the planets we'll conquor." Dib couldn't help but smile at Zim's plans. He really was a genius when he tried.

"Alright, let's get the Voot ready than." Dib couldn't hide the wicked smile as he cracked his fingers, grabbing a wrench.


	2. Chapter 2

Zim grinned as he watched his crew work on their new ship. It was fun getting the supplies and brainwashing the Irken who was delivering them. He wondered why he never realized before how exciting going against the empire would be. Maybe it's because he didn't have Dib shoving ideas of how wicked his Tallest were to him down his throat.

Even GIR was working sufficiently. They had found him the perfect job and that was making the team food. GIR was an idiot, but Dib said he could cook so Zim didn't question what they used the little robot for. Rising to his feet, Zim let them know he was going to his room to plan their first course. In truth, he already had that planned, but they didn't need to know what he was doing behind closed doors.

Once the oak was locked behind him, he sighed, his antennae falling limply against the back of his head. His claws moved quickly to remove his trench, gloves and boots, revealing extremely short shorts he had bought for Dib a while ago and never showed him and a short tank top, the cut hanging just below his ribs. He walked over to the bed, his feet plodding heavily against the carpet. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt like this, but a heavy depression hung in his chest.

Lying back onto the bed, he stared long and hard at the ceiling, wishing he knew why he was so empty. He had the Earth, an organization, a plot for complete domination of the Irken force…He had nearly everything he wanted, but something was missing. He couldn't place his claw on it…

Dib gazed over the plans for the ship, unable to keep the smile on his face hidden. This was such a dinky plan…he was sure he could spiff it up a bit. He pulled a pen from his pocket and began to sketch over the previous design, adding two claw arms, eight spider legs much like Zim's, a few lasers and a few cannons. He replaced the solid hull with a design of a clear glass window. They had received weapon proof glass in the shipment of Armada supplies, so they would be able to afford such an accessory. Oh yes, this would be a great ship.

A perfect ambassador for their maiden voyage into the great unknown. 

With the new improvements he would be adding, nothing would stand in their way…save for the Armada. But hopefully by then they'd have an armada of their own. No way to say for sure, but he trusted the Irken. Of all the people that could be leading them right then, there was not a better choice. They couldn't have had a better leader, even if it was the Tallest themselves. Zim's intellect to come up with such ingenious plans and his utterly intense drive to succeed made the perfect combination. All he needed when he was failing so miserably to take Earth over was some helping hands. Though he'd probably never admit to needing them.

"Okay, boys." He turned to face the man and robot that were waiting for the plans. "Here are the plans. I've added a few things." He rolled the paper out on the nearby table for them to view. "I've added some more weapons and eight of those spider legs Zim has in his pack. Now are we ready to build a monster?" Dwicky nodded, a grin on his face, while GIR saluted momentarily before relapsing into his random self. "Gir, could you fetch us some waffles?"

"Dance with meee!" GIR looked up at the two humans, a grin on his face, as the other two started to dance. Squealing, GIR flailed his arms around, hopping this way and that, dancing with the other two before running down the hall to make the waffles. By now everyone but Zim would dance with GIR to get what they wanted.

Hours later Zim emerged from his room, his coat, gloves and boots adorned once again. He made his way down to the docking station to see how the progress was coming and stood, staring numbly, at the skeleton of his ship that was already erected. His men worked well with the Irken machinery, he had to give them that.

"What do you think?" His ruby gaze shifted up to watch a shirtless Dib grin with a thumbs-up hand signal. The Irken couldn't find the words to express his amazement with how fast and how well they worked. Only two men! He finally grinned.

"It's magnificent!! I'm astonished that you two were able to complete this much so soon! I'll have to adjust my plans for an earlier launch." He rubbed his chin, admiring their work. Yes, he'd definitely have to re-plan this. But that shouldn't be too hard, though. Not for him.


	3. Chapter 3

It was only a month later, but they had the ship built completely. The last thing they needed where the electrical workings of the machinery. All the drives and the sensory systems needed to be built from scratch, and that's where Dib really pitched in. He was going to configure the greatest defense system ever known. Everything would work from one simple panel. Well, everything but the piloting. That would be Dwicky's job. When they were still taking over the Earth, it had been to their EXTREME surprise that Dwicky made one HELL of an Irken pilot. So not only did he work in the peoples department (making deals, assigning slaves to their jobs and such), but he was going to be their main pilot.

While he was programming everything, Zim sat and watched Dib with extreme interest. His movements were slow and articulate, long slender fingers working with the wires expertly. A smile spread across his face as his ruby gaze drifted to watching the older man, Dwicky, work with the piloting system, getting used to what Dib had programmed. His crew was indeed far more superior than any Irken the Tallest could throw at them. Any plot to destroy their threesome would fail miserably. Zim had to cackle quietly to himself at that. Standing up, he walked towards the two, placing a clawed hand on the boy's shoulder. They probably needed a break. Dib looked up at him and grinned. His face and front was covered in oil from all the earlier machinery work. Zim could help the smile that graced his lips at the sight.

"Maybe you two should take a break. Gir could get you some waffles or something." Dib just nodded, wiping his forehead and exhaling heavily. Dwicky turned from the pilot seat to watch the two before getting up and joining them.

"I think I have the piloting system down pretty well. I just need a few simulators to play on." He watched the two for a few more moments, smiling at the bright faces he saw. "Gir! Can you make us some muffins or something?" Gir simply saluted for once and ran off.

"Imma make some tacos too!!" Zim shuddered at the memory of Gir in his base's mainframe, screaming for those tacos…Snapping back to coherence, the smile on his lips widened. He had gifts for his crew and was just now remembering that fact. He wasn't much for gift-giving, but he felt the two needed these. Their old clothes were tattered and ruined from the invasion and they were in desperate need of new ones. So, with his AMAZINGNESS, he sewed them up some. Sewing wasn't that hard…

"C'mere." He motioned for the huumans to follow, leading them into the main room of the base. Two packages were sitting on the table, one labled "DIB-STINK", the other "DWICK-CREATURE". Dib pouted a little at the use of his old name while Dwicky wondered at the new label for him, but either one still headed over to the two boxes, glancing at each other momentarily. They both remembered Zim's idea of an "April Fool's Joke" and shuddered slightly at the memory, their hands going to open the boxes cautiously.

Inside of Dib's box, black leather lay folded neatly, shimmering in the light. His amber eyes widened as he pulled the garment out of the cardboard, letting it unfold to reveal a trench-coat. It was black leather, but if you looked closely in the light the material looked like a black sunstone or Australian Opal. It had many belts up the front and twice as many down the back, the buckles a lustrous silver. The sleeves, which were fitting and flared at the wrists, also adorned belts. The tail of the coat would hit the floor once gracing Dib's thin form. Under the coat was a deep blue turtle-neck, their insignia sewn into the front and something written on the back that looked like a mix of English and Irken. There was a pair of black leather pants under that.

Dwicky's box contained a sleek black leather shirt, the cut just above the belly button. It was a turtle-neck and was sleeveless, belts also adorning this piece. Instead of their insignia sewn into the material, there was a small golden pin with the insignia in black. Black leather pants were also his leg-claddings of choice for the man.

Both stood still, staring at the gifts, before grinning like fools at the Irken.

"Did you make these?" Dwicky asked astonished. He never knew the Irken could sew, but it made sense. He WAS in some form of a military academy, and Earth soldiers were taught to sew. Zim simply nodded.

"These..these are awesome!" Dib grinned with Dwicky. "But, I must ask, what does this say?" He was pointing to the writing on the back of his shirt. Zim's smile widened into a toothy, almost sadistic grin.

"Irken Boy." Zim turned on his heels and walked out to let the two change. Besides, Gir was bringing in the tacos and he wasn't ready to encounter those…_things_…just yet.


End file.
